As you all probably know Valve recently hired KingRaven as the Head of Game Balance this week, replacing that dogshit nerd IceFrog. There’s no question that IceFrog is a small son and had no idea what the hell he was doing when it came to game balance, and it is widely accepted that KingRaven is probably the best man to sort out the game’s shit heap balance.
KingRaven had this to say on the matter: ‘N’aix and Timbersaw what hard heroes. Say goodbye to weasel dota little kids.’
Currently there is some worry about how drastic the changes might end up being. Former pro player and dota analyst Ben ‘Merlini’ Wu said ‘I know there is a concern among pro players that every single hero in the game other than Sand King, Earthshaker and Shadow Fiend will end up with zero base armor within a few patches, which could be a problem. I just hope he doesn’t nerf Boots of Travel.’
Below are KingRaven’s current 6.81 patch notes, which are still subject to change. Expect more to be added as KingRaven shits them out.
- Bonus ms from Battle Hunger removed.
- Track duration reduced from 30 seconds to 25 seconds.
- Shadow walk mana cost increased.
- Shadow walk cooldown increased.
- Bristleback mana costs on Q/W increased by 10.
- Broodmother removed from ranked play.
- Clockwerk base armor reduced from 2 to 0.
- Clockwerk cogs duration rescales from 5/6/7/8 to 5/5/5/5.
- Clockwerk base move speed reduced from 315 to 295.
- Clockwerk aghanims upgrade now reduces cooldown to 30 seconds rather than 12.
- Clockwerk ultimate no longer goes through BKB.
- Sleight of Fist damage bonus rescaled to 8/16/24/32.
- Sleight of Fist cooldown increased by 3 seconds on all levels.
- Base movespeed reduced from 310 to 285.
- Fire Remnants will disappear when Ember Spirit dies.
- Base armor reduced from 1 to zero.
- Legion Commander can gain a maximum of 200 damage from won duels.
- Duel no longer disables evasion.
- Lich base movespeed reduced from 315 to 275.
- Lifestealer removed from ranked play.
- Lifestealer base movespeed reduced from 315 to 285.
- Mirana ultimate rescaled from 15/15/15 duration to 8/12/15.
- Mirana ultimate buff is removed on attack.
- Mirana leap level 1 reduced to 300 range and no bonus ms.
- Mirana leap no longer disjoints.
- Treants now have 0% magic resistance.
- Teleportation spell now shares cooldown with teleport scroll.
- Puck’s phase shift now costs 35 mana.
- Suiciding with rot now gives nearby enemies experience.
- Rubick ultimate range reduced to 550.
- All of Rubick’s abilities’ debuffed by 25%.
- Presence of the Dark Lord armor reduction increased to 5/6/7/8.
- Strength increased.
- Armor increased.
- Slark removed from ranked play.
- Dark pact doesn’t remove certain debuffs (e.g. pudge ulti).
- Pounce rescaled to deal 120 damage at level 4.
- Dark pact and pounce mana costs increased.
- Slark ult duration reduced to 3 seconds.
- Slark ult mana cost increased from 120 to 300.
- Slark ult regeneration removed.
- Slark given less strength or armor or something.
- Mana cost on ultimate increased from 1% to 10%.
- Overload rescaled to deal 10/30/50/70 damage.
- Damage to non-hero units from Terroblade illusions reduced.
- Timbersaw base armor reduced from zero to zero.
- Timbersaw agility gain reduced to 0.0.
- Time Lapse no longer removes dust.
- Base damage reduced by 7.
- Only intelligence heroes may buy dagon.
- Sentry wards now cost 150 gold.
- Auras removed from Necronomicon units.
- Added 24 hour bans for anyone who disconnects once during a match.
- Building regeneration re-added to ranged barracks.
- Tower gold bounty reduced.
- Trees removed from radiant bottom and dire top lanes.
- Illusion damage reduced.
- Buybacks are now limited to 2 per game.
In case you’ve been living under a rock, some hot chick slammed her legs/panties/crotch on a live stream, going huge in the process:
Somewhere in here, she does this:
And someone is mad about this – she needs to keep her clothes on, they say. They want to watch 20 year old men commentate dota games and keep it professional. Fuck off. e-sports will never be looked upon as a real sport, so just enjoy the ride.
If youve been a bad bad boy, like I have been, you’ll find yourself dumped into the LPQ for 5 games. At first, this seems painful, but this guide will let you effortlessly pass the time.
Step 1). Pick co-op bot match, and have the difficulty set to medium.
Step 2) Pick Furion
“get ready kids”
Step 3: Living on the Ledge:
Step 4: Go do something else, such as:
Getting Swole (actual furion player in LPQ)
Testimonial: My name is Gary. I used to be a small son before I used Kingraven’s Ledge Furion LPQ Guide to get swole. I used all that time between the 5 games to get swole out of my fucking mind. Now, when I rage, I can smash entire glass tables, or if I’m at a LAN, that lil Asian kid 3 rows away.
Take out the trash, or any other household choir
I managed to get all my Sunday cleaning done within one furion game. This is a great use of time.
Words of Warning: You’ll have to check back sometimes because Trolls can kill you with ranged attacks, so you’ll respawn at well and get an afl leave, thus starting the 5 game process over. Check back, move your hero around and chill out. It’s almost auto pilot way out of LPQ
After being placed in the same Solo Queue game on the same teams, positions were:
- 2 (teal): xp (4706 mmr)
- 3 (purple): kingraven (4525 mmr)
- 4 (yellow): daggius (4564 mmr)
After a re-queue with same mmrs (1st game was abandoned in lobby), positions were:
- 1 (blue): kingraven (4525 mmr)
- 2 (teal): daggius (4564 mmr)
- 3 (purple): xp (4706 mmr)
Proof video below:
Since player colors are not based on mmr, but there still is overwhelming correlation between mmr and player color, it is likely that player positions in game are actually based on queue time (search range). It is a sad realization that you cannot always trust your blue player to carry and your orange player to suck, even though this will often still be the case.