This fucking kid

To my loyal Dotallyrad shitcans. Take a quick look at this.

WTF SPOOGE? That’s a reddit link? Why the fuck would you send us to that disgusting public site filled with filthy virgin apes who desperately try to convince themselves that they’re not complete dogshit at this game? HURR DURR SUPPORT PLAYERS UNITE xD GOD DAMN CORE PICKERS LOSE ME GAMES WHEN I BUY COURIER AND WARDS AND SPEND THE ENTIRE LANING STAGE PULLING AT THE COMPLETELY WRONG TIME SO MY SAFELANER TANKS CREEPS FOR 10 SECONDS AND THEN DON’T EVEN PULL THROUGH SO THAT IT DOUBLE WAVES AND THE OFFLANER GETS SHITLOADS OF EXP? xD SURELY IT CAN’T BE MY FAULT THAT I LOSE GAMES!!! RIGHT REDDIT? RIGHT?!!?!

Calm down small sons. THis is about something big.

This fucking disgusting nerd ‘Valiox’ has outed our secret for dropping low priority games (which shouldn’t exist anyway, fat gabe doesn’t like stupid reddit fucks getting their feelings hurt when I let them know just how bad they are and toss the game to hopefully teach them a lesson) from extortionate amounts as high as 16, to 6.

You can tell this anime watching monkey fuck found the bug, and immediately got the biggest erection he’s ever gotten in his life (a whole 4 inches) thinking about just how much those public baboons on reddit would love to get this shit fixed. Just look at his fucking reddit account. Nearly 60k comment karma. I honestly don’t understand how someone can live with themselves knowing they have positive reddit karma, let alone 60,000. Fuck yourself kid.

I would type out my own paragraph on flaming reddit and that fat fuck gabe, but I think a reddit comment by KingPublic himself says it best.

Dota 2 ended up being too mannered. A fetid cesspool of disheveled virgin nerds who live vicariously through 21-year old socially-devoid ‘pro gamers’, many of whom are spamming twitch chat with their incessant ineptitude. Serious idols – guys spending 12 hours a day in their formative years slamming back dota 2 for a couple of thousand dollars a tournament, all the while a slovenly fan base of corpulent shit stains chant feverishly in the background at arenas, hoping one day, they can become a pro dota 2 gamer, too. PPD was supposed to earn 250,000$ this year, all while he lives with his mom and his team under performs. I played him in Dota 2, and slammed him 27-3 with Ember spirit. Slammed him in HoN, too. If you were to go to the HoN hall of fame, beyond the many nondescript ‘best player’ and ‘most gpm farmed’ trophies, near the back, hidden a bit in rear, there would have a monument dedicated just to the pure amount of slammings I laid down throughout the years.

Some courteous PPD flame in there too. Good shit Raven.

Of course pass any flame you feel fit on to this stupid fuck.

Thanks in advance,
Spooge

Austin Springs ‘Luxury’ Apartments in Miamisburg Ohio – Luxuriously fucking you forever.

So here is the deal:

The old Austin Springs, where I used to live before I moved, was bought out by The Conner Group; this company is a composed of REIT investors, aka, buy your place and jack up the cost of everything. Aka, vulture capitalistic assholes who are so hell-bent on making a return, they’ve literally ram-sacked the place. Hoping to cash-out on future develop in the area, and fettered by the law, they realized they couldn’t get all the money possible by simply raising rent.

So lets look at how fucking unbelievable greedy they are. Here is my old bill under the old management:

I had around 15$ in utilities a month. Suddenly, my utilities are 67 DOLLARS. Let’s be honest here: that is a 400% increase in utility expenses. Upon confronting Cara Guren, the ‘property manager’, she said it was “fair for the club house to be split among all residents”. Ah, the old “it’s fair argument.” What’s she’s saying is, being held down by rent laws, these slobby shitstains had to start getting creative, so they began tossing all expenses possible on residents. They didn’t want to pay for the clubhouse, so toss it in. Didn’t want to pay for anything, so raise all the associated expenses. (CONTINUE READING…)

Move over small splooge son, big dog is here

Small no name fat kids, it’s time we take a bit of a peek at this big time game here:

Nothing better to ring the 5k bracket in than a big fucking sand king game, which features first blood 2 minutes in on an Ember spirit to basically was told to get good. Game progresses to slams the size of Daggius’ retirement pension from mom and dad, followed by a brief feeding. I read barcode’s jugg (see what I did there?) into some galactic slams, followed by Euro crying.

Overall, bringing in 5k with Sand King is like that New Years you plan all year with your friends. You knew how it’d turn out, you had the outfit picked, your best friends on speed dial (your imaginary friends). One day I may stream again, but thought I’d let you slobby newbs know about this huge milestone.


Q&A

How did you get to 5k?
Because I’m good and you’re not.

What does it feel like?
Feels like you’re on top of the world.

Why am I bad?
Because you still read this site.

Is Daggius dead?
No, just realized he wasn’t any good. Realizing the retirement home was inevitable, DAggius decided to just be small, install Starcraft and play some junk game no one cares about.

Dumpy Publics: Know Your Place

So me and spooge kid were trying to play in this awful shitcan matchmaking. Of course it’s gonna give us a team full of 4ks who have the carrying capacity of a wet paper bag. Now, anyone who’s halfway decent at the game knows that if you just pick a bunch of supports for your 5ks and suck their dick all game you basically autowin. But of course, there’s always some dumb 4k who can’t shut up and pick a support, they gotta show off their GRAPE level carrying. Here we had some dumb potm “roaming” (aka supporting every lane except the one which was actually important). But hey, leaving your #1 against the enemy #1 jugg and a visage is fine, at least you landed some arrows on their pudge!

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Happens game after game, eventually we just get tired of tipping the barstool and threw it straight out the window after we got the SAME FUCKING 4KS who REFUSED TO PICK SUPPORTS on our team. I dusted off my tactics that I use to get 1 mmr accounts, i.e. pick furion, buy courier, TP into enemy base to feed FB+Courier:

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It just so happens that the 4500 that we were tossing on managed to die 3 times in a 1v1 lane against a doom before level 6.

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We also learned that, as expected, half the dota 2 population is too idiotic to know the difference between a party MMR and a solo MMR.

And then, by some stroke of sheer luck, we actually managed to get 4ks who wanted to win and they picked supports+an initiator. Now, when a good player is placed into a game with a bunch of small publics, they’re going to steamroll as long as their supports don’t completely drop the ball. The result here was 100% predictable:

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This was even a +34 which means we were heavily favored to lose. Yet the pubs fell in line and the game was ridiculously easy.

I do have to say, having separate solo and party MMR was one thing Valve did right. You can do whatever you want without it affecting your real MMR.

LESSON TO BE LEARNED: In a game with 5ks, 4ks stay off cores. It’s THAT FUCKING SIMPLE. If you just pick easy supports when you’re clearly outclassed by your team, you’ll win more. That’s all there is to it. No, you aren’t “stuck”, there’s no “elo hell”, you’re not going to go mid and carry the game when the enemy mid is legitimately good and you’re some delusional Dunning-Kruger kid who thinks “lolz but dragonfist picks TA every game and he’s 7.4k obviously I should do the same surely the fact that I’m low 4k is my team’s fault every game”. Know your place, pick supports.

I’M A HIGHER RANK THAN YOU!!!!!!!~~~~!!!!!

I made that the title to keep in theme with all the really bitchy and unfunny things that have been posted here recently. I notice crying over MMR, which, despite what you might think, Is just a number. People in dota are never awarded or Penalized for individual performance, so it is not, and will never be an accurate representation of any ones skill.

The second point I noticed was complaining over getting Low priority for being a jerk in game. This part really is baffling, because I frankly didn’t think it was possible. I’ve typed my fair share of racist things in chat, sure. I use the word Tranny very frequently. I even post links to nudes of myself in game chat, quite often too, and yet I have received no punishment. At what point do you actually take a punishment, and try to better yourself from it? It should be immediately, but not with some of you degenerates.

Also Dota’s kinda shitty and weird now, You kids should play some CS:GO where individual performance does impact ranking.

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