Sopranos big critiques HoNCast

Oh boy, Sopranos rolling in. Come sit on my lap children and hear what I say.

I like to think of myself of having some journalistic integrity, so I am going to keep the profanity to a minimum. Oh yes, I know you nerds come here for the ‘mad’, but if not getting the mad you seek, makes you mad, then there you go. Mission complete.

So, after a long hiatus from HoN, I decided to tune into HoNCast – you know, that “competitive” VOD monopoly S2 has going for them… And unlike the huge salvo of nerds here, I never actually hated HoNCast. It was actually quite good in my opinion.  Breaky was that memorable voice of a community, in a time where it was so very reliable and welcoming to here that “alllllllllllllllllrighty, I’m Breaky CPK…” Unfortunately, whatever charm HoNCast had before has worn off.

First of all, Breaky is a terrible caster. Oh yes, he can vomit out play by play with 90% accuracy, but that’s ALL he does. That is all he can ever do. This wasn’t so bad back in the days when HoN had like 10 heroes, or back when trilaning was prominent – which was the eSports equivalent of jerking off while watching your mother in the shower. But now that HoN has evolved (cue laughter from IceFrog’s cumbuckets) and has more heroes than actual players, this shit is totally unacceptable. You can’t have this idiot screaming out WHAT YOU CAN SEE IS HAPPENING, while the semi-competant co-caster takes a back seat to wait for and answer Breaky’s idiotic questions.

“But Sopranos, KingRaging made a post about this a long time ago. All your doing is mimicking him you dickriding faggot nerd herp” – slams the fingers of every DRD site visiting shitstain ever. Yes, KingRaven did make multiple posts attacking HoNCast for various reasons including its quality, but HoNCast can simply retort that they were catering to the lowest common denominator. Well guess what – I am the lowest common denominator, and I am telling you that your shit sucks. Not that you didn’t know, I am just reiterating it.

So instead of continuing with these long and boring paragraphs, let me make a dot point “Why HoNCast needs to step their game up” summary:

  • Breaky either 1) doesn’t know shit about the game. 2) doesn’t know how to articulate it properly or 3) is incapable of doing anything but screaming out what exactly is going on. Pubdumpshit’s don’t watch HoNCast so you can tell them that a “Magmus surged away just in time!”… We watch it so we can learn something from players that are better than us. The highlights of the cast is when they discuss items, or hero picks/bans, laning strategies and so forth. Even at these times Breaky is constantly stuttering and sweating himself out since he doesn’t know what to say and ALWAYS agrees with the co-caster. No matter what. Incompetent, or no backbone? You decide.
  • The co-caster has to carry the cast, with CPK butting in all the fucking time. Remember that HenryD fellow? Where did he go? Sure he was about as funny as a child molester, but atleast he would give insight into what was going on so that sub-1600 players like me could understand why people would do what they did. Now we get lispy magoo, and a “competitive” player from clan Milk, neither of which knew what the fuck they were talking about.
  • Breaky has no personality. You know why people actually like Tobi Kenobi or whatever? Because having that cool Australian accent makes him seem like he has some sort of personality, even though his casting skills are the exact same as Breaky’s (describe whats going on, nothing else). Even PhilTheThrill had far more personality than Breaky. At least Phil would go off on tangents talking about what a good Legionnaire player he was – even though all that amounted to was doing weird builds, getting carried, then boasting on HoNCast. Breaky just drones on in his boring monotonous voice, with the occasional screaming when Valk misses an arrow.
  • Breaky is so fake. Have you guys heard the BreakCPK soundpack? He is trying far too hard. It’s just plain fucking disturbing. Even his “alllllllllllrighty!” line has now become an overstressed “Allllllllllllllright”.. HE CHANGED IT FROM ALRIGHTY TO JUST ALRIGHT. THE NERVE OF THIS DUDE. The new HoNCast intro is a fucking joke. I don’t want to be staring at Breaky’s chortling face. At least put on something stimulating like tits or IceFrog’s phallus.

All in all, we could complain till the fucking cows come home, but nothing will be done. That’s the standard over at S2 games. Do as little as possible and inflate prices. HoNCast is no exception. I mean, why are we still watching fucking ads… This is worse than when HoNCast went over to that other abortion of a site (my memory fails me on this). I guess it doesn’t matter one way or the other, considering in 2 years, HoN and HoNCast will both be dead, and all the socially inept monkeys will be flee to LoL, while you superior,  master race nerds will be complaining how overpowered PotM is and how much IceFrog sucks nuts.

Thus spake Sopranos

Some obligatory images for you ritalin popping fucktards:

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66 Comments

  • Mexykanu says:

    who the fuck is sopranos anyway ?

  • JEWBOT says:

    fuck you guys, obesecpk is awesome. i would drag my erect penis through miles of broken glass and dirty aids needles just for the small chance of catching a whiff of the open anal cavity of the janitor who once cleaned the dirty toilet that a crackaddict shitpissed in who at one time made eyecontact with breaky on the street.

  • welp says:

    fucking delete this shit. Goddamn DRD sucks dick now what happened to trolling and drama? I dont come here for “check out this adorable new skin we leaked coming out next week lololol” fucking faggots. Get it together.

    DotA 2 inside info and HoN mad

  • dumpyeah says:

    jesus…. wall of Text

    maybe dont watch it then ? Breaky is fine. Not even close to perfect but fine.

  • [Riot]MsPudding says:

    get this gay sopranos shit off my DRD or i will make another announcer pack for 5000 diamond coins

  • Dazzle says:

    this is shitting bad.

  • Symputm says:

    If you don’t like honcast dont watch it so simple yet so hard for some piece of shit sopranos guy that nobody gives two shits about goes and spends time to make a whole thread about based off his opinion like go get a job or hop off the s2 hatin’ bandwagon fucking chode.

  • TickPrickler says:

    Give this guy a fucking medal.

  • supitsLoki says:

    Guy makes some good points. They don’t really give any insight or analysis to the game, rather they just give a play by play. Would be nice if they mixed in someone with actual competitive insight; preferably a recognized team’s drafter.

  • lilbitch says:

    BIG PLAYS!

  • huber says:

    The things that need the real commentating in a HoN match are too subtle and intricate to catch as a spectator. This is why “professional” casting is always a joke.

    I’d rather hear someone talk shit and crack jokes than hear about how a magmus got no farm, but hey HE NEEDS HIS DAGGER EVENTUALLY

    If you want to make spectating HoN entertaining, then pair it with some entertainment. The only other way to make it entertaining is a “hype man” like TobiWan.

    • huber says:

      Another good example was that GrandGrant guy’s cast of the US Showmatch for Dota2. He didn’t keep it all “esports professional” and he knew enough about the game and players to talk some shit about them and give some history.

    • daggius says:

      true hons about winning lanes and subtle harasses and cs and tricks you dont see in the cast where they are trying to switch between 3 lanes. you basically miss all the intricacies of the laning stage of the game

    • TheSopranos says:

      You know, to CPK’s credit, he actually tried to explain in a recent HoNCast how Moon was trying to keep creep equilibrium, but he failed so miserably at it. Some kid with big koweean accent at dotacommentaries managed to explain it 100x better than CPK.

      The problem is there are just too many big gaps in action and it’s usually spent talking dumb shit about “someone farming away at…” rather than anything interesting. I find myself skipping sections of gameplay hoping I stumble onto big plays because the commentary is totally lacking.

      Yeh, an entertaining caster with little knowledge is can work really well (see Tobi).

      • awwwsnap says:

        Tobi Wan actually has competitive insight from co-casters. He gets players like Synderyn(sp?) and Maelk. Breaky gets Phil.
        G
        G
        G

    • Ismaelio Brasiliero says:

      Magmus doesn’t use a Dagger he uses a Portal Key because we’re talking about HoN not DoTA you fat scrubcunt.

      • huber says:

        Ever told your team to check the runes?

        Well guess what faggot they are called tablets in HoN but nobody gives a fuck because the actual good solid game we all played for 8 or so years called DotA is what stuck with us.

        If I say “dagger” and you don’t know what I mean then I don’t want to fucking talk to you because you’re guaranteed fucking garbage.

  • Ruscour says:

    Feel free to add new writers, but when they turn out shit, please promptly dumpster them and remove posting access. Seriously, don’t let this kid post again.

  • FuckingDumbCunt says:

    u fucking cunt how can u say anything good about phil… he is the biggest fucking faggout out there and now that he is $2 he will ruin even more than he already has u dumbcunt

  • kidsmallson says:

    lol mad dumpster kid, get on breakys level

    breakykfc for lyf. best caster eva

  • tuster says:

    /ignore Sopranos
    ahhh! :)

  • Ubigman says:

    hey gais cannnnnnnn i poster!

  • relax says:

    can this pubtrash go away from this site please

  • BreakyCPK says:

    Wtf wrong with this guy? Hater will be hater forever. I wonder if you can do better or just big jokin talkin shit like this. You nothing son!!! GET GOOD!

  • showerpro says:

    Who the fuck is this dumpster that wrote this piece of crap?

  • Longrat says:

    It’s very simple, and can be summed up to 2 clauses:
    1) BreakyCPK is a shady asshole, this makes him a bad caster, cause if he’s the face of HonCast, then that website has a bad face.
    2) BreakyCPK is a play-by-play caster, while Phil is ALSO a play by play. What JoinDota did right from the very start was that they brought a play by play caster AND an analytical caster, who’s actually professional and knows what the fuck he’s talking about. This makes their casts interesting.

  • Bigplayeralert says:

    Sopranos being right and shit

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