The Most Disgusting Publics on the Entire Planet
It’s been a while since I wrote. I’ve busy with work and not gaming much but recently started to play a bit of HoN again and need to get this off my chest.
It’s about the worst people you can ever play video games with.
Forget about the USA vs EU debate and forget about Brazilians.
We all had to endure the BRs and still do a bit. Now that Maliken gave South America that big continental divorce it should be clearer to almost anyone now where the highest concentration of disgusting gamers exists.
The country is Australia and yes, it’s also where I come from.
The great land down under is a nation which boasts being home to the worst people to play games with on the entire planet and if an alien civilisation was discovered that is full of horrible disgusting public gamers, then it would still be better to play games with these aliens than your average Australian.
Being a bit harsh? I’ll go over my reasons.
It’s a well known fact Aussies get at least 250-350ms ping times. Actually, this is a best case scenario.
If I get anything under 300 I will literally jizz my pants with delight, and this doesnt happen often (both the ping times and the jizzing as I’m getting old). There are three cable systems that connect Australia to the rest of the world. The main one is SXC (the southern cross connection) which runs from Sydney to the US and goes via either Fiji or New Zealand. If you live in Sydney or Melbourne then it’s not so bad and you might get the 250-350 ping times. There is also one that runs from Perth to Japan. Playing on the Japanese servers used to be OK before TMM, but yeah, that’s passed. Finally there’s a dumpy cable system that connects us to Singapore, and it’s way overloaded and sucks pretty hard – if your traffic is routed through here you’re in big trouble. That’s a common path to Europe.
The point I’m getting at, is that if you don’t live in the South Eastern metro centres of Australia – which I believe is where slickz and his team of nerds who manage to somehow play at a competitive level come from – then you probably wont even get those 300 ping times. You’ll probably get 400-500ms ping time or even more if you live in any of the 5 or so other capitals. If you’re from the outback and wanting to play games don’t even bother you’ll get owned so hard that it would be more fun to have a dingo bite your donger off, mate.
What this means is that when you play HoN or DotA you click the button and then half a second later the little guy you’re controlling does what you told it to. And while you can somewhat adapt to last hitting in this manner, the real problem presents itself mostly in controlling your character for lane harass and quickly adjusting positioning, and also makes a pretty big difference when you are chasing a hero in and out of the fog.
Anyway, this became a bit of a whinge but it does set up the point that Australian gamers lose a considerable amount of ‘skill’ through their shitty connections. As such they are often playing in brackets with people who have less understanding of the game. I know this because when I’ve travelled and played on a better connection the matches I’m playing just suddenly start to feel heaps easier and I can play carries a lot better and actually have more influence on games myself.
This is one part of the genesis of the bitter and twisted ball of hatred that is the average Australian gamer and it may sound like an excuse for Australians but it’s definitely not the only problem.
There’s a lot of filthy, angry virgins out there playing video games. It’s not restricted to HoN and DotA but as we all know these are particularly disgusting communities of gamers. However, it’s fair to mention that in many years of playing video games the most prime dickheads I have ever encountered come from my own back yard. It’s hard to imagine all the years of inappropriate father-son relationships that would lead to such terrible people existing.
Since the Brazilians got dumpstered, I’ve noticed this more and more often as I get to play with more Aussies. These kids somehow meet each other and are often out to ruin games in teams. They will throw matches, flood chat and spew vulgar and unironic racism after the slightest disagreement with the team or as a result of personal frustration from being put away early due to their own bad play.
We’re not just talking about the regular stuff that people throw at Moon for laughs. We’re talking about gross and unrepeatable attacks (even by DRD standards) that everyone has heard at some point.
The Australians are, I’m certain, among the worst people in the world for this right up there with South Africa, Greece and Nazi Germany. We’ve been home to more than our fair share of racial issues including race riots, supremacists and the fact that the Golden Dawn party from Greece was able to quickly and easily establish a chapter in this country just recently. It’s not restricted to any one race within Australians either, anyone who has grown up in Australia has probably learnt these values. There’s just quite a lot of haters here, simple as that.
Another thing: the most amusing statement I’ve heard from people raging at people from other countries is to use the economic success of that person’s country as a means of attacking them, personally. Here’s some real talk for you if you’re the kind of person who does that.
Yeah, No. Australia’s sense of ‘team play’ and ‘work ethic’ and all that is not the only factor that made the country rich. There’s a lot of minerals and good farmland and stuff shared amongst not many people. There are also a number of other little head starts we got too, and yeah there were also some clever people who made shit happen. This counts for Americans and others from the higher OECD countries who claim this crap too. Yeah you came from a successful country but chances are it is not successful because of people like you but in spite of people like you. It’s like a kid who got carried up a couple of hundred MMR by Testie using the same broken logic to convince himself that he is good or has improved.
This shit might dawn on you when you wake up one day to find yourself thrown in the global unemployment dumpster because your shitty tech support job has been outsourced or the button pushing job you had driving a train full of dirt from mine to port for a salary that was too high has finally been automated (you know, when a computer steals your job). You’ll be replaced by a set of logical rules or one of the very people you unironically think is inferior because they come from a poorer place than you. You probably won’t learn from this experience either, because you’re an idiot.
The Final Solution
Valve, S2 and any other game publisher who may be reading this I have one request. Ban all the Australians from US and European servers. Allow Australians to play only among themselves and maybe the SEA region. And yes this includes me too. After being trapped in with a bunch of my own people I’ll probably become so nauseated at the thought of playing another online video game that I’ll go from someone who only plays a little bit now, to never playing at all.
And that would be for the best. After all, video games are for children.