Cyber Banging Lands on the Internet

Truly, the Internet has impressed me again.

First minute is great.

Competitive DotA is Boring

So I was talking to Korok, and he mentioned to me he ‘doesnt play in-house leagues’. I thought maybe it was just he preferred not to. So I got vouched for NA-DL, the North American league. Usually, when it comes to these leagues, there is a bunch of people always being involved with it. Turns out, it’s not that active.

And there was absolutely no one I knew in there. Most the other people are off playing pub matchmaking. I didn’t know why at first – clearly a bot-ran league with a lot of individual-skilled players would attract the top talent to mercifully fight it out until their fat nerd palms couldn’t take anymore excitement.

Then I figured it out: CM is played, and CM is the only truly ‘fair’ mode that’s out, and CM is a fucking disgustingly boring mode after 3 games.

It’s not this leagues fault, or really anyone’s, but it’s the lack of hero selection means you’re seeing the same shit every single time. There are no fun heroes, like Ursa. It’s all nerd picks. So then I thought about it after sitting through my third game, and realized how utterly fucking boring this was. I honestly think I’d rather get smashed in 10 minutes in HoN than sit through a losing game on Crystal Maiden (Glacius).

I figured it’d be better if maybe I watched the ‘pros’ do it. Again, same basic principle: ban jungles, get rid of Invoker, etc. Yawn.

Ban Me

On another note: it seems like most the east kids I used to think were morons grew up in the 4 years I’ve been playing DotA, but have then been replaced by new high school dorks like xCom, who was talking about being in high school and making 5,000 grand a month doing ‘internet marketing’. ?LOL

New KingRaven Highlight Video

Awyeevee made this.

Why the Professional HoN Scene is Like a Shitty Circus in Some Dumpster Country

Dear Competitive Hon Scene Slobs,

Recently, I travelled to Vietnam* where I spent one of my days at a pretty cool fun park called Vinpearl Land. After hitting the waterslides and rides we came across a live animal show. Being a person who sometime watches Honcast, it seemed to be a natural thing to me to try watching a show like this. We gathered around to see clothed and trained dogs and monkeys on display for the slobbering crowd.

Exhibit A (too lazy to upload my own camera footage so I’ll borrow someone else’s):

The lady in this video represents Maliken/Breaky, while the monkeys and dogs doing tricks represent the competitive HoN scene. Notice the lady holding something that looks like a whip? While watching that show live I saw one of the monkeys bare its teeth and give that trainer lady a death stare. The lady put that monkey right back in the dumpster by meeting its eyes and flicking her whip. I’m going to put it to you that the relationship that exists between some of the notable competitive players and S2 is more or less identical to the monkey-trainer relationship of the abovementioned animal show.

Some points on the matter follow.

BreakyCPK/S2 hyping up chump change as a prize

Watching BreakyCPK hype up $USD500 as a ‘grand prize’ as if this sum of money matters in the real world is fucking disgraceful. Sometimes it’s even $USD4000, and sometime it is a few gold coins in game or a mousepad. Doesn’t matter. This sums up about 90% of ‘professional’ HoN tournaments. Let’s watch a couple of hobos fight for chump change while the organisers reel in some decent money only for themselves. BreakyCPK and S2 are the clowns promoting this crap. (more…)

SBT HoN Beta Leaks

Someone sent these on it.

Get good.