What S2 should work on

• Deathmatch. Everyone loves fucking deathmatch. -Ardm most fun mode ever period. No one wants to crank more worthless unfun ap, get this mode out NOW
• Cycle modes weekly in TMM. Follows same concept of cycling heroes for free to play. You have one slot that offers a more interesting game mode, such as -sddu, ardu, mmar (mirror match), Ardm after you add it, item drop, etc., and have this slot cycle every week to something new. Kids played shit like this all the time in dota leagues cuz it beats boring ap
• Only mid mode: sideline creeps and neutrals dont spawn. Support the most popular custom game with a mode that keeps ppl from trolling it
• Voice chat to other team. Hon is all about Trash talk and big swagger. The inundation of macros has done nothing but confirm this obvious fact 100 times over. s2 knows it too, why you think they add shit like the dumpster taunt, big duke nukem announcer, and crying baby kills? After you kill someone on other team you should have 5 seconds to voice chat them just to get them really fucking mad. holy shit this would be great. S2 SELL THIS AS A TAUNT THINK OF THE MONEY YOU’LL MAKE

Everyone forward these ideas to maliken and diva they are the best yet in Newerth

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Chu jumps ship; S2 still doesn’t STRIKE WHILE THE IRON IS HOT

S2 staff are indeed a pile of incompetent, slovenly publics, and HoN is that chick you banged a few times before you realized she’s a total mess and moved on to something new.  S2 just took a big hit since chu, HoN’s highest rated player and biggest name, allegedly has gone the way of such fat nerds as Milkfat and RobertXLee and quit HoN to frequent its ugly stepcousin, League of Legends, a festering pile of shit designed for Gunbound playing, anime watching, 12 year old virgins who couldn’t make a big play with a 500$ pair of Nikes on.  It’s a shame S2 is still afloat, probably because dump newb Raven keeps putting coins into the system just to prove he has a disposable income.  We get it bro, you have money, now go spend it moving out of your parents house before your 25th birthday.

Why are kids jumping ship faster than Charlie Sheen’s career goes in the trash (other than reasons we’ve thoroughly outlined and discussed)?  Is it cuz S2 gave us the gold coins then took em away for useless silver instead of just making a realistic business model for those in the first place and not pissing kids off?  Is it cuz Maide’s stat site has been down for 3 months and the worthless OFFICIAL stat site still says “THERE IS NO MATCH HISTORY” on people who have played HUNDREDS of matchmaking games?  Gee isn’t that something you idiots should fix the first fucking day matchmaking comes out and not have us still waiting on it?  What really is the point of a stats website that never fucking works?  S2 never gets shit done, and by never I mean 6 months late every fucking time.  What are they doing over there?  They have like 50 staff members, do some fucking work already.  One fucking man with the right priorities would be cleaning up this mess so much better.  Someone with a name like “Icefrog”, or something like that, dunno.

Its so frustrating watching these slobs blow a good thing.  Here’s our favorite graph.  HoN goes nowhere while LoL keeps getting bigger.  YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG S2.  Stop fucking trolling us.

New Kraken screams insta-ban

Who remembers Raven’s rant about how idiotic S2 is?

Well it’s god damn true, the new patch and the remake of Kraken basically makes him hugely overpowered and lacks originality of any part for a new hero.

First of all Torrent is basically Gush from DoTA which OK, a spell like that is needed somewhat in HoN I can’t really off the top of my head think of a spell like it so OK.  HOWEVER it’s animation is as well done as a kindergarten drawing their favorite cat.  Like holy shit you call that measly little wave a FUCKING TORRENT? DOES S2 KNOW WHAT A FUCKING TORRENT IS?  This spell is so mentally retarded animation wise that it puts shame to even the lowly warcraft 3 engine, nuff said.

Charge is fucking stupid as shit now, so basically it’s a free…. rampage ultimate without the long ass cooldown and with a stun and damage and oh yeah you can farm with it.  So what if you fucking stop if you hit a building/tree or cliff WUPTEE FREAKIN DOOO.  Blink.Charge a hero back to your base on a push.  HELLO FREE SWAP WITHOUT LEAVING A HERO VULNERABLE.  Like he couldn’t go over cliffs anyways with the original ability so why bother changing it.

As for his passive, it’s bloody fucking stupid.  Yes let’s make a PASSIVE skill that gives +180 damage in a 200 AoE at level 4, compared to Gladiators Whip which is +60 every 4 seconds.  But wait its DOUBLE the cooldown.  But wait, if you fucking auto-attack (see : right-click deny) the cooldown is lowered by 1 second.  Bring on the carry Kraken with Parasite/Charged Hammer/Wingbow/Daemonic Breastplate/Steamboots/Beastheart build and watch everyone crumble and cry when they get splashed on at least once every second, holy shit.

Now his ultimate, low and behold, is like a fucking -EM ultimate.  Not only does it lack fucking originality on SO MANY GOD DAMN LEVELS (See : FUCKING TEMPEST GENIUS?) but it doesn’t even require Kraken to put himself in harms way, a ONE second cast time is shit all.  Remember SoulStealer before the ultimate cast time nerf? yeah. One second is jack shit.  Now I’m gonna throw some random ultimates that are mentally handicapped with this skill, Any AOE slow/disable, which is a lot.  Want a full rundown? OK

Cloud, Gust, Typhoon, Keg, Turret, Energy Field, Flaming Hammer, Zeal, Tundra Blast, Elemental Void (Tempest Ult), Dragonfire, Graveyard, Kelp Field, Fissure, Enrage, Shockwave, Hammer Throw, Stalagmites, Root, Taunt, Righteous Strike, Flurry, Cannonball, Avalanche, Pitfall, Call to Arms, Time Leap, Chronosphere (Rape much with Battlefury? ROFL), Poison Spray, Soul Burst, Barrel Roll, Deserts Curse, Volley (and for that fucking matter after volley imagine Piercing Arrows with Kraken), Flare, Cull, Burning Shadows, Acid Cocktail, Malphas, Chain Reaction, Bat Blast, Contagion, Rot, Wrath of the Pharaoh, Impale, Sword Throw, Lava Surge, Eruption, Rotten Grasp, Regurgitate, Hell on Newerth.

Yeah, good job balancing S2 you god damn monkeys, and this is why my friends Kraken is the new perma-ban status hero.

TL;DR : Slow/ridic stun on hero/farming tool/escape tool/drag a hero with you rofl/AOE Passive better then Gladiators whip/idiotic tempest ultimate wannabe

S2 Fail-O-Meter reaching critical levels; Customer Satisfaction at an all time low

The more I play this game the more I turn into KingRaven.  I ragequit at least half my games and I’m nearly as unruly as this crybaby JoshP retard.  But there’s good reason.  S2 keeps making terrible decisions and because I like the game I’m stuck along for the ride.  It’s like were in Oregon Trail and the wagon leader used all our drinking water for a bath and keeps wasting all the bullets on useless 2 lb rabbits.  Shoot the fucking Bison you despicable fuck.

Matchmaking was going great with BD and then suddenly S2 decides to fix that which is not broken and ruin it by changing mode to BP.  Despite mass appeal on forums the change sticks and everyone stops playing MM cuz it’s now worthless.  Don’t worry though, S2 is coming out with a big matchmaking fix soon. Fast forward three months and still no changes have been made; good thing they crippled the mode first so we can’t use it in the meantime.

That was just warmup.  Now lets remove the player kicking function, despite a blatant 87% of the community fervently supporting having a kick function.  I mean really, what part of the population really wants their games ruined by trolling, intentional game-ruining idiots instead of just kicking them?  THAT OTHER 13%.  Let’s fucking cater to them; maybe this company really is run by ass happy monkeys.  Who cares if we piss off 90% of our players by removing a crucial feature when theres a veritable buffet of ape dingleberries tantalizing our tastebuds!

We don’t need more updates with new items and heroes and magical soundtracks.  How about tackling the big issues in a timely manner and not fapping around with worthless shit on the side?  The priorities being set in HoN’s continued development are completely off, the updates that do happen are often illogical and not well thought out, and as a result the customer is not happy.

CAPITALISM 101: MAKE THE CUSTOMER HAPPY SO U SELL MORE COPIES.  PLEASE.

Rant : Rageaholics

If you’ve played in DXD or TDT or IHL or any league when DotA was the king supreme of AoS style of games you will have without a doubt met your rageaholic. If you’ve played only public games or the lower levels of league via TDA or SyN or XG then you still will have most likely met the rageaholic.

A rare specimen this rageaholic, they are VERY VERY contradictory. They will scrutinize every last little detail of your play and flame you for it, yet when it comes to their own play it is at best mediocre. Most likely the rageaholic is a was-be who is what we call “washed-up”, as per se they were at one point or another able to stand their own ground on a glorious reputation but have since fallen an insurmountable amount. Nevertheless they perceive themselves as the King of Kings, the Mastermind, God’s answer to the game and so on and so forth.

If you manage to kill them beware! They will call you lucky, scrub, noob etc. and blame it on their allies not assisting them or say stupid idiotic stuff like “ONE MORE SECOND AND I WOULD HAVE RAPED YOU PUB” when they had no mana, little health and a bare minimum of DPS. They also will challenge you to a 1v1 after the game if your team wins, saying stupid stuff like YOU GOT CARRIED and MY TEAM IS HORRENDOUSLY PUBLIC when no shit if you’re a carry hero and it’s a team game, you will get carried. Flaming is also imminent, so get your flame shield up ASAP lest you get burned by the insecurity of the rageaholic. If your team loses be aware of the aura the rageaholic emits, his boasting, taunting and flaming of how terrible you are is scientifically noted to cause people to laugh so hard at how childish people are that they actually laugh themselves into a comatose state**.

Last but not least if you manage to fall under the category of friends or acquaintance of said rageaholic and you do the EVER SO slightest thing to make them mad, be ready for beratement, removal of the friends list, flaming, crying of the epic proportion (also known as T_T or QQ) or long-drawn out whispers at how bad you are and why they bother playing with you. Clan quitting is also not out of the question.

IF YOU ARE A RAGEAHOLIC HOW DO YOU QUIT THIS TERRIBLE ADDICTION?

Simple, it’s a fucking game you stupid neanderthal, take a deep breath, let the fucking issue go (most likely that you just lost a game) and move on. Stop being such a fucking drama-queen and you might actually have something people call friends.

Noteable rageaholics
Swissbeatz, rravenajorax23k AKA KingRaven, Solace

** Not scientifically proven