Deadwood and Keeper of the Forest to duke it out–I’ve got morning wood

S2 has announced one of their next new heroes will be Deadwood, concept art seen above.  Clearly the intention is there for a dark and sinister counterpart to Keeper that will fight for the Hellbourne.  What made him so evil and bent on destruction?  Maybe he got tired of Pyromancer starting so many wildfires, or those damn teenagers wouldn’t stop carving hearts with their names into him after their hot forest make-out sessions.

I feel like we’re getting somewhere, but I’d rather aimlessly speculate about his possible arsenal…  is that a tree bazooka coming out of his right arm?  Please S2, let this be the case, for I’ve spent many a night dreaming of one day using my very own tree arm bazooka to demolish noobs with.  Rumors are running hot on the HoN Forums about Deadwood possibly being a ranged Strength hero, like the one-and-only Huskar in Dota.  A tree bazooka could be the key to this theory, but then again maybe he just throws apples like those Wizard of Oz trees, or huge rocks like those badass Ents in Lord of the Rings (below).

If you ask me, clearly that left arm is made for punching shit; so no friends, Deadwood is just another Strength melee hero made for brawling.  This reminds me of my high school mascot, which oddly enough, was a burly-ass tree… amazing how there are SO MANY instances of walking, talking trees in our culture.  ALSO UCSD HAS A TALKING TREE ON THEIR CAMPUS.

Anyway, I also think S2 might toss Keeper’s old, now-removed ability, Nature’s Vengeance, into Deadwood’s arsenal, because ripping up trees to smash things with seems just the kind of ruthless, dag-nasty thing an evil pile of wood would be doing if you ask me.  They also hinted at something like this in the latest patch: “Keeper of the Forest changed significantly (in preparation for the arrival of Deadwood)… Removed Nature’s Vengeance and replaced it with Nature’s Protection”.

iFlee collected at 2 mins by Wolf summon

Earlier today renowned baddie iFlee was collected a mere two minutes into a Dota game after a couple of Wolves fatally mauled him while he “fled” for his life.  We caught up with one of the wolves after the game to see what he had to say about the encounter.  “I actually felt pretty bad for that newb,” he replied.  “I didn’t even Crit or anything; I just kept biting him in the ass until he died.”  iFlee has gone on the record to blame his lane partner Smoaky for the incident, who apparently was trying to pull creeps nearby instead of helping his teammate.  Stay tuned for more on this breaking news as more information comes in.

get crushed

Sometimes I wish kinpin wasn't terribad

And we'll just scroll over here to see how our carry is farming. Oh nice, looks like he's riced out a Bracer. This shit's in the bank.

Maybe Demnok Lannik the Warlock can give you some quick pointers on farming?

Get rich or die tryin