Matchmaking Scoop

The latest Hon Patch (1.02) unfortunately switched from using the always fun Banning Draft (BD) mode back to the oppressively boring Banning Pick (BP) mode for Solo Matchmaking.  If you love seeing the same heroes and bans every game, wasting an extra three minutes before the game not playing but making these turds of picks, or otherwise having a terrible experience then you are stoked about this change.  Sure BP might be the best mode for competitive team tournaments, but Solo Matchmaking should use a different mode, and BD was working great for it!  Support BD or at least something other than BP for Solo Matchmaking on Hon Forums.

Something else that was changed: S2 added a maximum spread to the games so you don’t end up in games with people whose ratings are really different from yours.  Now games can take 10 or more minutes to start instead of 1-2, and no more steamrolling noobs .  Check out some players I was placed with one game in the old setting:

A 1300 along with two 1200s and two 1000s; the kind of epic garbage that makes KingRaven’s Chronos look good.  Dumping on pubs this bad is most of the reason my ranked stats are 16-1 right now, and damn that shit was fun.

Alas, even with competition this terribad Clan Milk International’s leader, Milkfat, still felt the need to stack the teams to swindle some wins.  Private Investigator and Solace wannabe “Zerak” dug up some great dirt showing Milkfat stacking teams with his goons who would either try really hard or intentionally feed the way to a Milkfat victory depending on which team they ended up on.  (It’s pretty easy to get in the same matchmaking game with people you know by hitting the search button at the same time, since it is a not a popular setting yet.)  Check out this tantalizing excerpt:

But then you start to notice that the same two players are repeatedly showing up in this guys Match Making games “MadFred” and “PanMan”. And in every game where they’re not on the same team as Milkfat they feed to a more or less obvious degree, from grabbing 4 homecoming stones at game start to repeatedly port out and run into the enemy tower. Or just standing still whenever getting ganked by Milkfat.

New, cutting-edge method for measuring the badness of noobs

Here at Dotally Rad, our elite team of scientists and engineers have made a massive breakthrough in the study of noob behavior. This great work has yielded a new formula to quantify the fail of any noob playing Enigma:

(Distance from Black Hole to nearest enemy) / (Number of enemies caught in Black Hole) = Noob Badness Index

As you can see in the example below, the distance to nearest enemy is already a staggering figure, perhaps as much as 700 range in this instance.  However, when calculating Noob Badness Index, what really matters is the number in the denominator.  Notice that since there are no enemies caught in the Black Hole, we are dividing by zero, which means this noob is INFINITELY BAD!  Stay tuned for further results as we learn more in this exciting field.

Anyone want a BAD GAME?

easy, go to clan xg. always chock full of noobs ready to play pretend dota. looking for some RD with simple bans like lycan, clockwork and omni? well look no further, you can find them in XG. The only problem is that someone picks a banned hero every game. START OVER? RM? no! that would be too easy. play the game and pause whenever Guardian Angel goes off? thats the ticket. BAD GAME.

When XG playrs arent busy being bad, they are busy truanting people who were actually in the game. “Lets truant him because he sucks” is the XG motto. So obviously if you truant aforementioned “Extra Baddie” you wouldnt let him in the next game. wrong again. Extra Baddie shows up. game starts, extreme pausing ensues (think Daggius playing warlocks) and once again a BAD GAME.

Dont take my word for it though, go to clan XG, play a game with the baddies. and make sure not to piss off Silent MOnk. he takes phrases like “XG is the league for noobs” personally. well . . . he is the founder of xg. lifetime banned? now i cant get my daily dose of BAD GAMES.