Way better Dota/HoN Valentine’s Day poem not written by a dumpy newb

In your new Radiance you look so fine,
won’t you be my Valentine?
Meet me at the Secret Shop,
You can suck my lollipop.
I wanna see your item slots,
every one gives me the hots.
Two Ultimate Orbs makes a Skadi
and thinking ’bout you gives me a fatty.
You can hold my Black King Bar,
I’ll shove it down you oh so far.
Let’s take a Steam Bath for two,
before my Magmus to erupts all over you.
Scared me with your Nether Blast,
got real mad when I came too fast.
Left her lane like a pub dumpster,
kept worrying other dudes might hump her.
But it aint the same just crushing newbs
when all I can think of are her boobs.
I’ll come back to you when I’m real farmed,
cuz you’ve got me just so, so charmed.
Your Heartstopper Aura drains all my life,
‘my soul is yours’ if you’ll be my wife.
Tell me I’m the only one,
then I’ll carry you just for fun.
Together we’ll gain 5 PSR,
before we bang in the back of my car.